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What to say

Get well soon messages

Most get-well messages are cheerful at people rather than with them. The ones that help are short, warm and free of instructions.

Avoid "stay positive" and anything that makes recovery sound like a task they are failing at.

Short and warm

  • Get well soon. No pressure on the timeline.
  • Rest properly. The world will manage without you for a week.
  • Thinking of you. Do not reply, just sleep.
  • Hope you are being looked after, and that you are letting yourself be.
  • Feel better. I will be here being insufferable when you are back.

When it is serious

Be honest rather than cheerful, and offer something concrete.

  • I am not going to pretend I know what this is like. I am around, and I would like to help with something real: food, lifts, paperwork. Say the word.
  • You do not have to keep everybody updated. I will check in now and then and you can ignore me freely.
  • Thinking of you and your family. No reply needed at all.

Send it with flowers

Put any of these in a digital bouquet: flowers chosen by what they mean, on a page made for one person. Free, no signup, and about a minute.

Make the bouquet 🌷

Questions

What should I not say to someone who is ill?

Avoid "everything happens for a reason", comparisons to someone else's illness, and unsolicited medical advice. Also avoid asking questions that make them manage your worry.

Are flowers appropriate?

Usually yes, though many hospital wards no longer allow them. A digital one avoids that problem entirely and does not need anyone to find a vase.